It's been eighteen months since I last wrote in my blog. I feel this is the final chapter in what is "Atheist Behind the Zion Curtain." It's been a fun ride and who knows maybe I will pick up blogging again, but I feel this stage of my life is complete.
I started out angry. I needed to vent and this was the best way to get my frustration out. Now, yes, there will still be times where Utah politics or the LDS leaders may stir up some emotion, but not in the same way.
In three short days I will be getting married. I met the love of my life six years ago. We've had some crazy years. We've both seen the saddest times of our lives together, but together we've built some of our happiest as well.
Some people ask why did it take so long to get married? (We were engaged for 5 years.) To which I answer no ones path is the same. On some days we even had to pave our own road, but we did it together.
As you know the majority of my life was spent as a member of the LDS Church. Since, my shelf has broken and I have officially, in a legal and very mental way, left the faith.
Nine years ago marriage was something different. It was part of check list to get into heaven. I had to find the right person that would follow the commandments with me. We would live together for eternity..... etc, etc, etc, etc.
Today I am getting married because of a deeper connection I have with my fiancée. I cherish every moment I have with her because this life is all I have. I am living for the now. People tend to think that just because I don't believe in god(s) my life must be full of less love, but I am finding it to be just the opposite.
I am marrying my love because I want to enrich our lives together. I want her to know that out of the seven billion people on this planet I have chosen to share my life with her. I am giving her my time that I have on this planet. I am giving her my love and not to anyone else.
As I stand there on Friday pledging my life to her in marriage I am not doing it because God said I had to. I am not doing it because it is the right thing to do. I am not doing it to have eternal life. I am doing it to give my life to someone who I care more about than anyone else.
I have moved beyond the curtain. I have found pure love.